What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 21.06.2025 04:28
One cannot live in the past .
My mum and dad in the seventies!
It was going to be , some day.
What are the extra benefits of a smart TV?
But, we were locked up after school.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Why does Rahul Gandhi have so many haters?
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
She was in good health!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Can you share some of your favorite jokes that are not well-known but always make people laugh?
As i do to all so called friends.?
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
We all went to grammer schools
How do you fight the push and pull (manipulation) tactic if you want to win him?
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Is it possible for the U.S. government to get rid of the constitution for national safety?
Why did i forgive my father ?
The only rule us 5 kids had .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
What are the pros and cons of a prospective bride/groom not having any siblings?
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I have no regrets .
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Im still living with it.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Why did Donald Trump and Melania Trump sleep in different rooms?
I waited trembling.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I was very sick at this time too.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
So whats the point in blame.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
(And it was in our own minds.)
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I said to her
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
She wouldn,t have been !
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
What did i know ?
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
So, i spoilt her more .
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
My life is so biszare .
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I don,t even have a pension.
Especially a lifetime of it.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
He resisted the act ,that day.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Was to survive, this bastard.
I was seconnd youngest,
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
All the time i was locked up.
He knew the spot.
She married twice! .
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Who then, do I blame.?
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
But ive been too sick for many years..
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
And i lived it daily.
Put me off passion for life!!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
We were not on the streets..
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Comes on , in middle age.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
When she asked me how she looked .
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I was scared of men, in general
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
She loved him until the end.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
This is soul school!.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I could never make a relationship work though!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I think the readers, may guess!
Would this be the day?
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I couldn’t, believe it.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
My family never makes their pension either.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Ive learnt so much.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I will be 64.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I write beautiful poetry .
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
She found it foreign!.
But it wasn’t much.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
They are buried together, in the same grave..
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I never cut or harmed myself..
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I was 9 years of age.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..